Considerations for Marriage

Marriage is often about compromise and teamwork, but if you don’t know what each person expects, the you are going to have a lot of trying times as newlyweds. The things that you should discuss before you get married are how many children you want to have and when, couple responsibilities, religion, and cultures.

It is important for you and your spouse to discuss how many kids are wanted and when to have them. I am dating a guy named Conner, and we are soon to be engaged and are getting married in August. We have discussed how many kids we want to have and both agreed on the same amount. We either want to have 3 or 4 children and since we are both attending school right now, we do not have to have children until we are completely done with school. It is important that we have discussed this so that it is not one person wanting to get married and have kids right off the bat while the other person wants to wait a while. We both agree that it will be better for us to have children after school so that way we can focus on building our family instead of focusing on school. We both feel that we will be more ready to have children a couple years down the road.

Another thing that is important to talk about before getting married is what responsibilities each person will have in the family. Conner and I are aware of each other’s roles and who wants to do what in the family. He is going to be the main provider of the family. I want to teach piano lessons so there will be some income there as well. I am going to do most the household things and he is going to go to work and do the outside work around the house. My parents always did things together until the work was done so that the work was equal. Conner and I have talked about splitting it up equally so that we can get things done. Although we are not married yet, we make dinner together all the time and do the dishes together. Together we are a team and that’s very important in a relationship. I know that when we get married, we will work together as a team in everything we do.

Religion is an important topic to discuss in a relationship. My cousin grew up in the church and is dating a guy who is atheist and wants nothing to do with the church. She has been dating him for several years now and they are going to get married soon. Since they are different religions, their children are not going to grow up in the church. They are going to be far from it and my cousin doesn’t have an idea that their kids are not going to grow up in the church like she did. It is sad to see that her kids will never get the chance that she had to grow up in the gospel because she is choosing to marry someone not of her religion.

Culture is also an important thing to talk about when considering marriage. I have another cousin who claims that her and her boyfriend are in love. He is from Nigeria and is not a citizen in the United States and when we asked her if she was okay with living in Nigeria, she said I don’t know. It can be difficult being in a relationship with people from other cultures, although it is possible to make it work. When considering getting married, be aware of the other person’s expectations as well as your own.