Sexual Intimacy

The reason men and women exist on earth is because of sexual intimacy and it is a natural part of our life. How young people view intimacy depends a lot on how they were taught growing up. A lot of families are embarrassed by intimacy and they demonstrate by not showing affection to each other in front of their children. This can give their children the wrong idea about intimacy and they may grow up thinking it is bad or wrong. It’s good to understand that it is just a healthy part of relationships within marriage.

When children are old enough, it’s important for parents to talk about sexual intimacy to their children and not be embarrassed about it because it is an important part of life and its how children are brought into the world. When questions are asked by children, be open about it and talk to them about it so that they aren’t thinking that they have to get information about it from friends or from the internet because that can lead to problems like pornography. Not everything on the internet is always correct and so when children rely on the internet to teach them about it, it can lead to the wrong idea of sexual intimacy. School systems are also not a source for information about sexual intimacy. I think that most people don’t want school systems teaching about sexual intimacy because every family has different beliefs and values and can teach them about sexual intimacy that goes against their beliefs, so it’s important for parents to answer their children’s questions. Children will be more willing to come and talk to their parents then going and finding information about it somewhere else. Sexual intimacy is sanctified and serves great spiritual and temporal purposes, but as with most divine opportunities, much depends on the attitudes, timing, and behaviors of the individuals involved.

Sometimes coming from a religion that really stresses virtue of being morally clean, it can be challenging to all the sudden be able to feel like it is okay because from when you were young, it was all about how bad it was. I come from a religion where all throughout my life, I was taught that sexual intimacy was bad and that we should never do it. Then all the sudden as soon as you are married, it is all the sudden okay. It can be difficult to all the sudden flip the switch and then it’s okay to have sexual intimacy between you and your husband now that you are married. In a textbook called “Successful Marriages and Families” by Alan J Hawkins, there is a chapter where is talks about marital sexuality. In the chapter, there is a section titled “LDS and Other Religions’ Doctrines on the Purposes of Marital Sexuality. It says, “Marital sexuality serves several purposes for both husband and wide as individuals as well as for the couple relationship. These purposes include becoming one, connecting with God, and strengthening the emotional and spiritual bonds in marriage. Avoiding temptation and continuing the generational chain by bringing children into a family.” In this gospel, sexual intimacy is sacred and personal. It is between you and your spouse and is encouraged after marriage to bring children into the world.

Within our church and teachings of the gospel, we are taught from a very young age about virtue and purity and making sure to keep ourselves clean sexually. Virtue is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. It encompasses chastity and moral purity. It begins in the heart and in the mind. Purity is when a person becomes pure when his thoughts and actions are clean in every way. Because we are taught about virtue and purity in this gospel, it keeps our thoughts and actions clean and prepares us to face these challenges in the world. It prepares us for when we are ready for marriage.